When I posted the Free Hugs video last time, I should have mentioned that where my daughter goes to college, at FSU in Tallahassee, this actually happens. My daughter tells me that she'll be walking to class and kids she has never met before, male and female, will just come up and offer a hug. It happens all the time around campus. She's been hugged and spun around by total strangers. But it's always nonthreatening and totally in the spirit of fun and wishing someone a great day. The first time she was a little taken aback, but after that she just went with the flow. And this from a child who used to say she required four feet of personal space at all times.

Having grown up in New England where people are big on minding their own business and don't tend to be overly effusive, to put it mildly, this does push the limits of my comfort zone. My dad worked in NYC so I went there a lot as a kid and learned the fine art of being in crowds without ever making eye contact -- because you never know who will turn out to be a looney. It's like an unspoken law on the subway, you DO NOT make eye-contact! And this part of Florida being a lot like NY only hotter, a lot of the same rules apply.

When I travel to other parts of the country or places like Canada where people are raised to be cordial, I tend to really get thrown by random people saying hello on the street, or striking up conversations on line at cash registers, or cars slowing down to let you cross - they're really just trying to trick you into getting run over, right? But the thing is, once the intial shock of random friendliness wears off, I enjoy it. It kind of makes you feel like you're part of the human race, rather than standing up against it.

Romance writers deal a lot with the subject of emotional repression and what it takes to draw people out of their comfort zones. This is usually where the internal conflict arises. A character has been burned in the past and has learned avoidance behavior, or has been raised to think in certain ways, only to discover that in order to be with the one person who can make them happy, they have to let themselves be vulnerable and embrace the very emotions that most frighten them. What they learn is that this is something humans can't necessarily do alone. It's a shared thing, and that's where love comes in. People need each other.

What's your comfort zone? Are you a hugger? Someone who smiles at strangers and says "have a great day!" Do you wait to see if the other person says "hi" first? Or do you go with the Northeastern practice of eyes forward, walk briskly on?  

 

Like you, I was raised in a city where one did not dare do this kind of thing but your daughters campus sounds like a very warm and comforting place to be. I would probably need quite a bit of time to become so easygoing but I wish I lived in such a place and that there were more of them in the world as it would then be a much better place.

Carol, I couldn't agree more. I think people are happier and safer in places where everyone takes the time to be friendly and look out for each other.

Well, here in Georgia we try to practice Southern hospitality. I am pretty friendly in areas where I feel safe, like church and work. I tend to be much more cautious when I am out and about with strangers around me. (I think I have seen too many news reports, so I have become a little paranoid.) Also, I only hug family and friends, but I do hug a lot because I think we all need to get at least one hug a day.

Sending YOU a hug across the miles!

Who couldn't use a hunk! When I am in NC we drive down the road and people actually wave hello. If you do it here in WPF, people look at me like I am weird.
Love the hugs idea.

I meant hug not hunk! LOL.
That's what I get for looking at Helen's Hero's blog. Ha! Sorry Lisa. Hope to see you Saturday if you are able to come to the meeting.

Hey, don't apologize. Everyone could use a good hunk, too! :)